The Third Value

The Third Value of the Everything: Our Everyday Relationships From a Sacred Law Perspective

The following is excerpted from the Sacred Law manuals - for more information, visit www.sacredlaws.com

The third core value is our relationship to those in our immediate or everyday environment. There are many English expressions that show the importance of the people with whom we spend time and many are based on stereotypes and judgments. Like most stereotypes and judgments, they were built on a kernel of truth that is now long buried. “Birds of a feather flock together”, “By his friends ye shall know him”, “Like attracts like”, are a few examples. The third value peels the layers off these old bromides to reveal the original wisdom: by the Law of Contagion, it does matter with whom we surround ourselves and with whom we spend our lives. We gain and lose orende and energy in our daily interactions with others. When we are heavily focused on and involved with people that choose to focus on concerns and cares which are not valid, are small-minded, caught in pity stories or simply don’t hold the highest possibility in the moment, it drags us down, or contaminates our experience. This inhibits the full expression of our third Larien, - that of life force, chi and health - which is intimately involved in living the third value.
In extreme cases, surrounding ourselves with this type of contamination can lead to a break down of the Larien which in turn, causes disease. Healthy circulation of life force energy is an essential key to self-growth and development. The circulation of chi in our bodies is the nagual equivalent to the tonal blood circulation. At a basic level, this Larien allows us to develop intuition and empathy for the feelings of others, dump our self-importance and become sensitive instead of being at the effect of others. Developing this Larien further enables us to become aware of where our A-point is as well as find it in others so we can choose the quality of our life experience. When our heart is strong and healthy, our emotions run like water. It is very difficult to maintain emotional balance and control and energy in motion (rather than emotionality) when we are constantly besieged by the lowest sort of interaction with the people in our everyday lives. We weary!
The key to developing this Larien lies within the value of our relationship to those in our immediate environment including family, friends, peers, teachers, patients and students. The major area of concern is with our attention. We must always remember: Attention is Power! We need to make sure that those in our immediate environment are worthy of our attention, because when our attention is given we spend our life force energy and chi and it affects our health. If we are wasting a lot of energy on "no returns" or “suckers” then we must stop it by removing the attention or our health will suffer. We must do whatever is necessary to remove our attention from those which are not worthy of our attention from our daily environment and to focus on those people that bring us an increase of orende, an upsurge of energy and increased health and well-being.
This value encourages us to examine those in our everyday environment and make the changes that need to be made. One of the tools that we have is called the Seven Rings of Friendship. It is well worth our time to place the people in our lives in their proper rings, for in this way we can clearly see where we are out of alignment with people and how we gain and lose energy. Take a moment a draw a series of seven concentric circles on a large piece of papers. On another piece of paper write the names of all the people who are “important” to you. Now place them in the seven rings according to their roles. Notice when there is guilt or shame because a person doesn’t belong in the ring you think they “should” belong in. There are no have-to’s in this placement! Look for your own pattern to develop. Do you have a tendency to move people in too close? Before they have earned their position? Or do you keep people at arm’s length? Which rings are empty and which are full? This can be very revealing! Proper placement of people in these rings can avoid many heart-aches that arise through betrayal, disappointment and expectations. It is a No Pity analysis of your everyday environment! Do not be afraid to kick people out of your inner circles, clean house and re-start a healthy circulation.

First Ring- only your beloved, or absolute best friend belongs here. This is the person you trust with your life, whose core values are closely aligned with yours and walks your west shield. Your individuality is not sacrificed with this person and they too will die for you.

Second Ring- your best friends belong here. These are the people you can bring home, share the truth about yourself and place faith in freely. You have common ground and your values are mostly aligned and you feel love or like for them. Be selective!

Third Ring – the friends you can rely on belong here. These are the folks that share some of your values, with whom you can confide some things and have earned a measure or your respect. You may lose individuality if you let these people in too closely before they have earned your respect and faith. We tend to make lots of mistakes within this ring.

Fourth Ring): on and off acquaintances belong here. A little faith may be placed in these people but it is not yet determined how much respect is present. This group may include those with whom you study and learn, for example in a dojo or in a lodge. This ring is the determinative testing ground for friendship.


Fifth Ring - casual acquaintances belong here. This includes people with whom you have interacted one-four times.

Sixth Ring – your antagonists belong here. The people who irritate you but perhaps also teach you!

Seventh Ring – your enemies belong here. These folks may also have something to teach you but do not mistake them for friends.

Having placed people in their appropriate ring of friendship (and perhaps removed people from your sphere of influence), it is time to look more closely at the relationship of your five aspects to the third value. I have prepared a series of questions to open this matrix. Have fun and be honest with yourself.

Heart
Do you love yourself when you are with others?
Do you care about the quality of the environment you are in?
What quality of people do you love and love you?
Do you have a lot of mood swings based on whom you are with?
Who do you care about? Who cares about you?
Are they worthy of your time, energy and attention?
Who don't you love or care about?
What decides whom you love and care for?
Are you lazy and take more than you give?
Do you give too much? (Hoping to be important?)
Who comforts your heart?
Whose heart do you soothe?
What are the emotional concerns of those closest to you?
What are your emotional concerns?

Mind
Do the people you hang out with support who you really are?
Are you aware of your surroundings?
Do you receive or give knowledge from those around you?
What quality of intellectual life do you live?
Do the people around you have any interesting ideas that spark you?
Are you open minded?
Are the people you hang around open minded?
Do you have friends with varying opinions or are your friends uniform?
With whom do you dream the biggest dreams?

Body
Do you dress to fit in with your environment and peers?
Do you present yourself differently under different circumstances?
Do you choose certain types of foods based on what your peers choose?
Who influences your food choices, your health choices, your work choices, your abundance?
Do you influence others?
Do you try and change your body based on peer approval?

Spirit
Do you respect the people you are around?
Do they respect you?
Are you trusting?
Are you trustworthy?
Are your friends/loved ones trustworthy?
Do you have faith in them?
Are you often betrayed?
Do you betray others? Or Yourself?
What are the spiritual concerns of those around you?
What are yours?
Do the people who are closest to you support your Path?

Sexuality
Do you respect yourself based on whom you hang out with?
What excites you in others?
Who attracts you?
Who is attracted to you?
Which rings of friendship contain your lovers?
What are the sexual concerns of those around you?
What are yours?
How do you choose those who are close to you?
What are your priorities in choosing close people?